


Shooting Star

by Shaman_Witch



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Soulmates freeform, a bit of angst, feels so many feels, for me at least, maybe more than a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaman_Witch/pseuds/Shaman_Witch
Summary: It’s not so long after that when he sees a glowing, silver mark behind Peggy’s right ear, it’s like a delicate embroidery engraved into the skin with utmost care.  When he asks her about it, she quirks her head to the side, brows drew together and Tony quickly laughs it off. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about.(Maybe he doesn’t either.)Jarvis has one, too. Brilliant golden mark under his left arm.Tony thinks he might’ve lost it but then he sees the same mark under Ana’s right arm mirroring the one Jarvis has.Soulmates he thinks for a fleeting moment before he shuts the ridiculous thought away.There’s no such thing.





	1. Chapter 1

When Tony’s 4 and has his first circuit board under his belt, people call him a golden child, one look at his father and he knows he’s anything but.

Later the circuit board lays on the floor of his room broken and wet from his tears, the embodiment of his shattered dreams and hope. He sniffs at the sight and wonders if that is how loneliness feels.

He decides he doesn’t like it but there’s not much he can do. So he mans up – words that Howard liked to say to him when he had one drink too many – and tries to exceed his limitations.

(But the first seed of loneliness is here and it will only wait to grow more.)

~~*~~

A year later he has burns on his, too small hands, and for the first time, he feels fear and betrayal. They snuggly find a place beside the loneliness that rooted deeply inside his heart.

His mother takes care of his hands then, smiles sadly at him and there’s a seed of hope he doesn’t dare to think about. She hugs him and apologizes and he knows she bears the same scars in her heart, too.

~~*~~

At the age of 6, the loneliness fills his heart so much he can barely take it anymore. So he runs away into books. He spends hours in their library that no one used in a long time. He hides from prying eyes and reads. Reads everything he can put his hands on. From Technical books to fairy tails.

Howard would skin him alive if he knew about the latter.

But he reads them anyway.

He especially liked the ones with dragons, it filled his heart with courage and resolve.

He liked to read about soulmates and true love, too, even if he could taste bitterness on his tongue later.

~~*~~

He thinks about soulmates a lot. Sometimes in the dark of his room, he dares to dream about having one, but there wasn’t such thing as soulmates, so he buried his hopes deep within his heart.

His parents weren’t soulmates he knew that much, he observed how they were dancing around each other. Howard high and mighty and Maria resigned and sad. There wasn’t any fate between them, Tony decided, only cruelty of the world and expectations that brought them together. No red strings of fate and Tony felt sorrow because his mother didn’t deserve that.

~~*~~

By the age of 7 the loneliness in his heart stops growing and recedes a little.

Jarvis and aunt Peggy are his salvation.

He loves when they tell him stories about their adventures.

He loves when Peggy, wonderful brilliant Peggy tells him about Howling Commandos and Steve Rogers.

Captain America. The same man Howard was looking for, man that was gone for a long time but was still more important than Tony would ever be.

Peggy tells him about Steve’s friend, too.

Tony decides that he likes stories with Bucky the most.

~~*~~

It’s not so long after that when he sees a glowing, silver mark behind Peggy’s right ear, it’s like a delicate embroidery engraved into the skin with utmost care.  When he asks her about it, she quirks her head to the side, brows drew together and Tony quickly laughs it off. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

(Maybe he doesn’t either.)

Jarvis has one, too. Brilliant golden mark under his left arm.

Tony thinks he might’ve lost it but then he sees the same mark under Ana’s right arm mirroring the one Jarvis has.

Soulmates he thinks for a fleeting moment before he shuts the ridiculous thought away.

There’s no such thing.

~~*~~

He’s 8 when he’s kidnapped for the first time.

His heart learns pain and fear, anger and distress, loss and resignation.

He runs away, he’s small but smart and he uses it to his advantage. They catch him, and he can’t move for weeks to come.

Jarvis and Peggy are the ones that save him from his captors.

(Now he has scars that match the ones in his heart, too.)

~~*~~

By the age of 12, he knows that he’s the only person who can see these strange marks. He saw hundreds of them already and he knows that there are two types of marks. Gold and silver.

Silver ones belong to people who lost their other half.

(He knows because he saw that happen.)

Then he thinks about Peggy and the beautiful delicate mark behind her ear. Sorrow squeezes his heart at that and he cries like he didn’t for a long time.

He’s 12 and he’s a long way from home in a boarding school with snakes in people’s skin.

The loneliness decided his heart is not enough anymore.

~~*~~

At the age of 16, he feels desperation readily joining loneliness. He sits for hours by Jarvis and Ana’s grave, trying hard not to shatter into thousand little pieces.

He has scars matching the ones in his heart.

(There’s more of both since the last time.)

The loss he feels is heavy, sitting on his chest like nothing was amiss.

~~*~~

When he meets Rhodey his heart dares to feel hope again.

He can breathe like he couldn’t in a long time.

~~*~~

He’s 21 when he becomes the CEO of Stark Industries. By that time he already feels hollow like a shell of a man he supposed to be.

He remembers the day his parents died. He loved his mother, his father? He couldn’t care less.

He was dead drunk when the news hit him and he despised himself for it.

People used him, his name, played with him and then threw away when they were bored. Someone would think that he would guard his feelings a little better, but deep inside he was still a naive child who loved too much and cared too much. Who gave all of himself and didn’t ask for anything in return.

(He didn’t deserve it anyway.)

~~*~~

Afghanistan is just another point on the long list of his kidnappings. He gets new scars but he started to treat them as a sign of his survival.

The only thing he remembers with clarity is the silver mark on Yinsen face. It went from his brow, through his cheek and ended in the hollow of his neck.

Tony remembers it because he didn’t see one so big before.

The rest is just a cacophony of strange language, ‘no’s’ he repeats and finally hard work that helps him to focus.

(He survives.)

~~*~~

People named him Iron Man and Tony thinks it’s fitting because he has iron in his spine even if his heart is made out of glass, drowned in a loneliness so long ago.

~~*~~

Captain Rogers is everything Peggy told him. He’s also everything Howard told him.

The disappointment in Steve’s eyes crushes any hope before it has a chance to sprout for good.

Then Tony dies and for once he welcomes it.

(Except he doesn’t die, not for long anyway.)

~~*~~

The Ultron is a mistake that is like an ugly and sharp splinter in his heart. The Maximoffs, though are anything but.

They go from hating him to mildly disliking him after he saves Pietro.

(He counts that as a win.)

It’s also the first time he sees the marks being etched into the skin when the fated pair meets.

Wanda and Vision will be good for each other.

(It’s also the first time he feels real envy for what he will never have.)

~~*~~

When he meets Bucky Barnes for the first time, it’s anticlimactic, to say the least. Winter Soldier is in charge and Tony almost dies.

Again.

Nothing though prepares him for Steve’s betrayal.

Tony knew who was responsible for his parent's deaths and he made a peace with that.

Steve didn’t tell him though and it hurt so much more.

~~*~~

He takes them in, Barnes included. The Accords just an ugly history now. Taint wiped from memory.

He has people around him but he feels more lonely than ever.

(The loneliness was with him for so long he’s not sure he can feel anything else.)

Bucky though is everything Tony think he would be.

Fun, smart with a dirty mouth and wicked humor.

They form a tentative truce, then become friends to everyone surprise.

Tony’s stupid heart though, has other ideas and he curses under his breath because he doesn’t want to destroy things between them.

(He’s scared beyond everything else.)

Just when he finally lets that little seed of love root inside his heart, he sees a beautiful golden mark with hints of red around the edges on Barnes skin.

It's morning when he emerges from his workshop after inventing binge, Bucky's in the kitchen, t-shirt long forgotten who knows were. The mark was almost sparkling in the sun. It looked like a shooting star, starting at Bucky’s neck and going all the way down his spine.

Tony’s love shattered before it even got a chance to root in his heart for good.

(The loneliness in his heart mocks him for his stupidity.)


	2. Chapter 2

~~*~~

Tony’s too old to count now, he has silver in his hair and a broken heart.

He’s avoiding everyone.

(But in truth there’s only one person he really does.)

His heart hurts but the hurt in Bucky’s eyes pains him even more.

Tony’s old and broken and deep within, his heart knows it’s for the best to keep his distance.

(It’s really not.)

~~*~~

It’s a night when he wakes up screaming his throat dry. He tries to catch his breath and when he does he doesn’t even remember what he dreamed about.

(It’s a lie, the oily shadows and Howard’s laugh will haunt him for days to come.)

He has dark circles under his eyes and his heart learns a different kind of defeat while his mind loops him in the pain.

The hurt in Bucky’s eyes mirrors his own.

(It doesn’t change anything.)

It changes everything.

~~*~~

Once Upon a time, Tony was sure that Steve Rogers was the most stubborn man alive.

He didn’t know James „Bucky” Barnes then.

It’s the first time he truly feels like a deer caught in headlights.

It’s because Bucky is stubborn and Tony does what he did when he was young and naive.

(The latter still rings true, even now.)

He runs into books and when it’s not enough because Bucky is relentless he locks himself up in his workshop, cease all access to it and goes into inventing binge.

The things he invents are born from many sleepless nights, desperation and overflowing imagination.

~~*~~

He spends two weeks in his workshop until he finally passes out from exhaustion.

He doesn’t remember much from his last days, but if others are to be believed Bucky literally punched his way through the wall, a glass one but still a wall, to get to him.

His heart for the first time in so long learns something else than the awful emotions that were with him since his childhood.

(Embarrassment isn’t that bad of a feeling.)

~~*~~

Bucky treats him after like some skittish animal and he must admit he feels like one.

He tries his best to avoid him but Bucky doesn’t stop chasing him. His face locked in simple minded focus.

And for once Tony’s too tired to care anymore so he lets himself to be caught.

Everything would be fine but Bucky’s mark was an ugly reminder that there’s someone else for him.

Someone that it’s not Tony.

(But how would he know?)

~~*~~

There’re days that Tony lets himself to be cared for, even if the guilt swallows him whole.

Avengers, Steve, in particular, look at him angrily with a dose of pitying.

He doesn’t want their pity. The anger, the anger is good. He can deal with anger.

Bucky though, Bucky treats him like the most precious thing in the world.

Tony allows himself this moment of weakness even if it is just for a second or two.

(He still doesn’t understand.)

~~*~~

The longer Tony looks at Bucky’s mark the more beautiful he finds it and he despises himself for that.

He catches himself looking for Bucky’s other half, he looks for matching mark but he can’t find it anywhere.

He wonders who it might be. He knows some of the marks show up right away others take the time to develop. He doesn’t know why’s that, he had theories but nothing seemed plausible.

When Bucky hugged him one time after a battle, Tony almost sobbed it felt so good. He felt selfish then, thinking that maybe he can have Bucky for himself even if it meant for him to hold his soulmate off.

(He felt awful after that even if it was good to be held.)

~~*~~

The call for battle is sudden and the fight is brutal. He remembers he rushed to a bunch of civilians to protect them from an attack. A beam of destruction, really.

(There shouldn’t be any people around but they’re more focused on taking photos and videos than their own life.)

He saves them, of course, he does but then the next attack comes and his suit is trashed.

With yet another attack, Bucky comes to his side, worry and anguish all over his face and Tony heart swells with affection for this man even if he doesn’t deserve him.

(He doesn’t deserve nice things after all.)

The last thing he remembers before losing consciousness is the big shadow which covers them from the beam and an echo of ‘I love you’.

The shadow suspiciously looks like a dragon and words are said with Bucky’s voice.

‘Weird’ Tony thinks.

Then there’s only darkness and Tony welcomes it like an old friend.

~~*~~

A week and a half later he regains his consciousness only to be welcomed with worried, tears strained faces off his teammates.

(He still has trouble calling them that after everything.)

Bucky is right there with him holding his hand, looking scared and broken and then hopeful when he registers that Tony has awakened.

After the joy and hugs and tears, he learns he build himself a dragon which is kind of fitting, to be honest.

(Besides he always wanted one to begin with.)

They laugh and hug some more and after that Tony falls asleep even if he slept enough already.

~~*~~

The next time he wakes up he’s alone with Bucky who’s sleeping on the plastic chair which by all means looks completely uncomfortable. He smiles fondly even if his heart reminds him, that this man is not his meant to be.

He tries to sit and with difficulty, he succeeds only then he notes that the room is pretty spacey.

(It must have fit all the Avengers after all.)

He looks around and spots big mirror hanging on the wall behind him. Tony is not sure why there’s a mirror and one so big but eventually, he comes to a conclusion he was put in some rich boy hospital apartment.

Just when he turns his head something catches the corner of his eye. He stares at his reflection only then noting that he has no shirt instead his entire midsection is covered in bandages but it’s not what caught his attention.

He sobs sudden and loud.

(His heart flutters with mockery, ridiculing him for his stupidity but he doesn’t care.)

He cries letting all the bottled emotions run free.

Bucky wakes up and jumps to him right away sweeping him in a hug and kissing his face and shushing him. He asks what’s wrong and Tony just sobs out, “it’s me.”

Because right there under all these layers of white cloth is the same mark Bucky has on his back but it’s like a mirror copy of his.

What a fool he was.

(His heart is at peace at last.)


End file.
